flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize