it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
