He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
