herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
