let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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