Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
