we made out on top of his cat.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Drunk is a universal language darling
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