All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
