i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
