Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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