My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
