girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
