The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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