ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just forgot I was standing up.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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