so that wasnt chicken after all
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i think im in europe. pls send help
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
jump out the window naked night went bad
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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