If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
