Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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