The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize