It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
