ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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