I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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