From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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