and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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