wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
