Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
