you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You ruined the universe
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
