i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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