if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Shame - the story of my life.
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