the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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