...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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