never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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