Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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