I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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