allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
