we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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