Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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