is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there's paper in my vomit.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
