you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
