This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
