Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
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Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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