So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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