guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
