Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
