I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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