Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
