I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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