so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
