Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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