so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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