that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish you could order shots online.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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