The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
