No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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