Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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