Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
