He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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