just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
