I accidentally had phone sex last night
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Less talking, more tequila
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
