I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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