we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
