Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
