Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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