Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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