you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
