First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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