Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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