their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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