you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
