I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
