its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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