nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize