Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
